During a summer visit to America, my emotions range wildly. Always interested in data, I have created a scale to chart the emotional roller-coaster of my American holiday (photo descriptions follow the chart).
During Trump’s RNC speech, for example, my emotional reading was at the the bottom of the red zone within the chart. (The red zone tempts my husband into convincing me to buy a farm in southern Spain or to sell tacos from a bike in Penang.)
Conversely, a day spent hiking in Arches National Park followed by a massive taco dinner, put my reading at the top of the green zone. (The green zone tempts me to buy an old 4×4 and wander the desert backroads of the American west for a decade or so.)
What a great place! I love it here!
1. Delicate Arch at Arches National Park.
2. Plate of tamales smothered in salsa verde.
That’s kind of weird
3. A “medium” chocolate shake. Delicious and as big as my head.
4. The “Zombie Apocalypse” or “survivalist” aisle at Utah’s “Smith and Edward’s Country Boy Store.”
WTF is wrong with you people.
5. “Get Some Guns and Ammo” store. Multiple locations in Utah’s Wasatch Front. Driving past caused my son five-year-old son to ask, “Is there a war in Utah?”
6. A selection of “Gun Tote’n Mamas” brand ladies’ bags on sale at the outdoor store, Cabela’s. I made the mistake of entering the store looking for a rain jacket. They also sell bra holsters in case you just can’t leave the house without your goddamn gun. (Photo is a screen shot of their website as I was too stunned to take an in-store photo.)