The dumpster fire that is my Facebook feed

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Scrolling through Facebook feed…

Article on Hillary Clinton’s health

Eye roll.

Hong Kong advertisement in Chinese

Stare at video until it’s clear that the liquid being poured is not luscious beef gravy, but rather bird’s nest soup.

Cat .gif

Scroll.

“Joke” about Hillary Clinton having a body double

Make obscene gesture at screen.

Panda .gif

Linger long enough to watch panda fall from tree.

Hong Kong Free Press article about the Hong Kong election and the badass young Hong Kong politicians who won seats on the Legislative Council

Now that’s an election! Fist pump!

“Joke” about Hillary Clinton being corpse in Weekend at Bernie’s

Rage. Count up days until I have Hong Kong Permanent Resident status. Rage more.

Photo of cute baby whom I’m related to 

Rage forgotten.

Photo of severed crocodile head and tail from friend’s day trip to Shenzhen

Wonder how I to get to that part of Shenzhen.

Carefully curated photo highlights from a friend’s glamorous life

Pause. Press like. Take sip of yesterday’s cold coffee. Scratch. Scroll.

“Is Hillary Clinton too ill to be president?” post

Set keyboard on fire.

Automated “8 Years Ago Today” post 

Realize that Facebook was and always will be a dumpster fire.

Relative’s post of an obviously photoshopped alt-right meme disparaging Michelle Obama and calling her patriotism into question

Spend 15 minutes shouting obscenities. Go back on Facebook to write relative a private message and get distracted by:

Friend’s link to awesome Twitter feed where Bruce Lee and Freddie Mercury are best friends

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Via @suekichiii on Twitter. Go and look. Now.

Know that Facebook is the dumpster fire that I cannot look away from.

 

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6 responses to “The dumpster fire that is my Facebook feed

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